"Doggie Pledges"  

Posted by — Kim in , , , , , , ,

Thought you would enjoy these! –Kim

I Promise...

  • I will not play tug-of-war with Mom's underwear when she's on the toilet.
  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead moles, birds, bugs, etc.
  • "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
  • I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose on her bottom end.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • I will not bark each time I hear the doorbell or each time I hear one on TV.
  • I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither is Mom's lap.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 9, 2009 at Saturday, May 09, 2009 and is filed under , , , , , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

1 comments

Anonymous  

Hysterical!

May 15, 2009 at 1:47 AM

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