Thought you would enjoy these! –Kim

I Promise...

• I will not play tug-of-war with Mom's underwear when she's on the toilet.

• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

• I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

• I will not throw up in the car.

• I will not roll on dead moles, birds, bugs, etc.

• "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

• I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

• I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose on her bottom end.

• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

• I will not bark each time I hear the doorbell or each time I hear one on TV.

• I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither is Mom's lap.

• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.